Intrepid Optimist

Intrepid Optimist is the place where I can share my stories; fact, fiction and thoughts from the past and present. It’s Written by myself for people who believe adventure knows no age

For my Sins

Writen for Friday Fast Fiction. 100 word promt. –

Been heading down hill for a lengthy stretch and at each control they relieved me of something dear to me. It started with my money and then my jewellery, then my food.

At the last post they took all my possessions. I am naked.

I cannot believe I have sinned to such an extent that I deserve this.

They told me that if I can reach the bottom, there is a chance of redemption.

If I make it I can make it, they said all will be forgiven.

And now before me, I see the path strewn with broken glass.

Advertisements

About bbryanthomas

Not so young man about town who, having witnessed and enjoyed life, is presently having fun, writing about those by-gone times and life in general.

22 comments on “For my Sins

  1. Bridgesburning Chris
    September 7, 2017

    Yup. It hits home but downhill is a journey and there is always something to be gained from a journey isn’t there?

    Liked by 1 person

    • bbryanthomas
      September 8, 2017

      I think my man/woman should learn something if he/she hopes to finish his/her journey

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Miles Rost
    September 7, 2017

    Well…here’s to hoping there’s hydrogen peroxide at the bottom of the hill. Well done in making my feet hurt! XD

    Like

    • bbryanthomas
      September 8, 2017

      Better to have quit and waited it out Miles

      Like

  3. Iain Kelly
    September 7, 2017

    Once he’s reached the bottom the only way is up. Nice take.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bbryanthomas
      September 8, 2017

      True Iain. To quote: been down so long it seems like up to me (definately not my character)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Jelli
    September 7, 2017

    Oh, horrible. Beyond painful just thinking about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bbryanthomas
      September 8, 2017

      It could get worse Jelli

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jelli
        September 8, 2017

        Unfortunately, it can… and probably does without the public knowing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • bbryanthomas
        September 8, 2017

        No Jelli, not in my case. I’m an optimist and I qute suprised myself writing For my Sins

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jelli
        September 8, 2017

        I’ve been surprised by my own writing sometimes, too. Anyone who knows the real me, knows I’m more of a gentle soul that hates violence, and yet; some of my writing portrays violence far too well. I really liked your piece, Bryan.

        Liked by 1 person

      • bbryanthomas
        September 8, 2017

        Thank you Jelli, I’m the other side of the coin. I’m certainly not a violent person but my scribblings have much truth and little sentiment in them. I never thought to analyse myself. Maybe I should take a closer look.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Fluid Phrase
    September 8, 2017

    Is punishment catching up on a life of sins? Very different take.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Christine Goodnough
    September 8, 2017

    Whatever did the poor guy do?? Doesn’t sound like he’s got much hope. “A chance of redemption” sounds pretty iffy. Sounds like they’re torturing him with Hope.

    You should by rights add the photo prompt so we all know at a glance that you’re “on the same page” story-wise. Just go to Rochelle’s blog, click on the picture and choose the option “Copy image.” Then go back to your post and hit “Paste” wherever you want it to show up. Most of us do it at the beginning of our 100-word tale.

    Like

    • bbryanthomas
      September 8, 2017

      Even without the glass, there’s no redemption.

      Will add photo prompt next time.

      Like

  7. granonine
    September 9, 2017

    Oh. What a sad story. Well-crafted.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bbryanthomas
      September 9, 2017

      Thank you, I pleased to know you liked it

      Liked by 1 person

  8. subroto
    September 10, 2017

    Looks like the road to redemption is strewn with broken glass. Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bbryanthomas
      September 10, 2017

      Personally, I wouldn’t have dared to gone on

      Like

  9. rochellewisoff
    September 10, 2017

    Dear Bryan,

    Broken glass? Not too promising. Ouch.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  10. glossarch
    September 11, 2017

    I like this one. It’s a reverse purgatory. Instead of climbing up the mountain, you’re going down.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on September 7, 2017 by in Stories.
Follow Intrepid Optimist on WordPress.com

Blogs I Follow

%d bloggers like this: